“Choose Joy!” Sage Advice, or Rose-Colored Pretending?

I have often heard people say, “Choose joy.” Is this possible in the midst of all other experiences? Is it simply a matter of choice? Yes. And sometimes no.

It is a beautiful thing to do, to choose joy. A strong go-to, for sure. But what if we try to choose joy and it remains out of view, out of reach? Is this when “choose joy” becomes another one of those rose-colored misunderstandings, i.e. the only way through is to keep our vibration high and light? 

If we are not in joy and are unable to choose it, there are some necessary and beautiful pieces for us to be with. These pieces bridge where we are now to living as all that we are, which includes joy. Yes, how we see, feel, and live is a choice. Absolutely. And sometimes those choices are out of reach, because something else is in line first. This is as it is meant to be. It doesn’t mean we have failed at “being love and light.” It means we are whole, and we will leave no part of us behind. We are not meant to go around what is here, for what is here is us.

What I have found is that we cannot move on to another experience until we honor the one we are having. If we are having sadness, or grief, or anger, or pain, “choosing joy” can be a muzzle we place on top of the other emotions. These other experiences will simply wait as long as it takes for our divine appointment with them. They will show up in other areas. They will seep out around the edges.

It is also helpful to know that ultimately there is no required path through awakening. There is no requirement to “feel everything to heal it.” We can go direct. We can wake up to the joy that we are without a deep pass through any of the stories of our pain. Many of us have been influenced by the older paradigm that we “the hardest times in life teach us the most.” This is now optional and not required.

So. We know that it’s possible to go direct, but what if it still isn’t happening for us? This means one of two things: either something else is in line first before joy, or we are simply caught in a feedback loop.

Let’s look at the first one. What does it mean to honor your experience, what is here now? This will look different for each person. For some it is a good snot cry, or a venting or expressing of the energies of emotion within. For others it might be writing, or a ceremony of release, surrender, or cremation. It might mean (oh yes, often this one) taking action. It might mean standing up for yourself, or setting your boundaries, or making different choices. It might mean centering and stilling, and simply embodying a different vibration. Consciously shifting your vantage point.

In scenario 2, sometimes we are ready to choose joy, but we don’t. We continually loop back through a familiar pattern that has a hold on us simply by the nature of its well-worn grooves. Water goes where water flows until we re-route the channels. In this case, in order to choose joy, consciousness is required. Keen attention. Noticing our thoughts, and the way we give the reins to our emotional thrust. Notice how thoughts create more emotions create more thoughts. Notice how the loop feeds itself. Notice the secondary gains of your pain. Ask yourself how you are watering the seeds of your suffering, and how is this “serving’ you (which it only is until it is not, as this kind of service is illusion. In other words, it is serving to perpetuate a pattern). This scenario requires resolve, choice, and continuing awareness. And you can do it, one choice, one awareness at a time. Surround yourself with people who remind you. Hold yourself accountable with fierce, unconditional love. Indulge in no judgment over relapse, only celebration as you remember who and what you are.

You can always join us for more consciousness, compassion, and wide open spaces of high vibration in Living Awake, our membership program. You can try it for 30 days free here: https://christinelaria.com/awake

Loving You Infinitely –



Photo: Dream Path, Croisan Scenic Way Woods, New Years Eve 2018


Posted on

January 3, 2019

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