You know that version of love that runs here on planet earth? The one that, in adult relationships says, “I need you,” or “You complete me,” or that we might experience as “I need to keep you happy?” It’s the version we learned in parent/child relationships that came down as, “I’m just doing this to keep you safe,” or  “It’s for your own good,” or “You get rewarded for doing what I want.” Feel into all of that. Does any of it feel like unconditional love to you? Does it feel open and expansive and light?

What if we’ve been mistaken for a long while? Because none of the above is love. It’s all control, and it’s all love based on conditions and needs (i.e. energy exchanges), which means it isn’t unconditional love, is it? Love, in its truest form, is never about control. It’s all about freedom.

WHEW. Can you feel how we’ve been playing this game of conditioned love for a long time? Is it time to be done with the love-as-conditions-and-control game and move into the freedom that we are? My heart is a huge YES!

I wrote a little poem (who is on her way to becoming a song) on the topic. It’s called FLY, and it’s about the way we learned control’s version of love (love as fear) and the way we can drop those chains and be free.


If you’re capable, you’re lovable,
If you’re nice, you’re fine by me,
Be responsible, you’ll get rewards!
See how good you can be!

If you’ll play that you’re not good enough,
You’ll fit in right away,
If you’re weak and small, that’s even better,
You’re rockin’ your part in the play!

If you feel afraid, that’s great, you’re in!
Fear gives us so much to do!
If you’ll play scared –  – –
I’ll play with you.

Small is our game, it’s called control.
If you burst the box,
They might smash your soul.

So don’t be brilliant,
And don’t be God,
Don’t shine your light on me!
Don’t be free, and whatever you do,
Make sure you just don’t BE.

Play small, play small, play small.
Play fear, play fear, play fear.
Feed the machine. Feed the control.
Keep feeling the pain of not knowing you’re whole.

Or you can

FLY, allow the love to flow.
FLY, allow the love to breathe.
The love that you are
Sets your whole heart free.

FLY, allow the love to flow,
As the power of God that you BE,
When you’re free in your heart,
You set your whole world free.

Love is unconditional,
Love is open and free.
Love is the substance of all that we are,
And in it we’re free to BE!

Love lights up the universe
In explosions of brilliance and light,
In love there is no getting it wrong,
Because there’s also no getting it right!

(Thank GOD!!)

So FLY, allow your love to flow.
FLY allow your love to breathe,
That love that you are
Changes everything.

FLY, allow your love to flow
As the power of God that you BE,
When you’re free in your heart,
you set your whole world free.

When you’re free in your heart,
You set the whole world free.

When you’re free in your heart,
Everything is free to BE.


Posted on

May 30, 2016


  1. Serge

    Fly with the real love indeed :):):). Beautiful, truthful piece dear one, thank you. I await the live version. In light …..Serge

    • Christine Elder

      Hi Mary! feel free- I’m all about sharing the love. 🙂 Love to you and Al – C


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *