I’ve been raped. By a rapist. Equally true is that I’ve never been a victim, and my rapist was never a perpetrator. Hopefully this has your attention, either through agreement, disagreement or curiosity.
Here are my two cents on the subject of Me, Too, because I now live beyond the entire paradigm, and maybe you are ready for that, too.
As humans, we experience being victims and perpetrators. Take a moment and feel into right now which side you are primarily identified with. If you feel neither, check in where your sympathies are, because this is also an indication of your identification (another way to say that would be “whatever gets you fired up”). If you’re reading this, you likely are more sympathetic to victims, or feel you’ve been one. And let’s be startlingly clear at the get go: Regardless of which side we live or sympathize with right now, we have played every role. We have been ogre and innocent, marauder and martyr, the do-nothing bystander and the mastermind of the plan of pain.
So in humanity, we play victim and perpetrator, which are opposite sides of the same energetic coin. But in consciousness, there are no victims or perpetrators, because duality is illusion, built on the concepts of right and wrong. Right and wrong also give rise to almost every posture, opinion, indignation, righteousness, pain, misery, and suffering on the planet.
As far as I can see in the human realm, most things that cause pain are classified as “wrong,” (the shooting in Las Vegas, political enemies, and Me, Too). Conversely, anything that brings pleasure (or any of its variations like abundance, well-being, etc.) is “right.” But these are arbitrary human meanings assigned based on the amount of pain generated, whether it be emotional, physical, or situational. We recognize pain as bad because, well, it hurts, and furthermore it can lead to suffering and death. Fair enough.
In consciousness, we recognize that there is no such thing as death (or even pain, for that matter), and that we all exist at the level of pure awareness. I mean, just look at us! We have died so many times, and we are still here! So how did all of our victim/perpetrator experiences come to be?
We give our agreement to various interactions of energy through incarnation, which become events, some of which are painful, and all of which place us into roles, much like characters in scripts. When it hurts, we feel wronged, or indignant on behalf of others. Mostly we forget that we are the authors of the play. This is where the confusion arises, and where we experience right and wrong.
I have been sexually assaulted, and many other things on the list of “me, too.” I have gone through PTSD and years of therapy and healing, and advocated for other survivors through education and compassion. None of it helped me to the degree of what I now know and live, which is this perspective of consciousness. This is what has led me to write this blog, and to teach through classes and seminars. Particularly apt to today’s topic is a video series I created on this particular subject called Female, Free and Clear: Your Keys to Life Beyond Sexism, Harassment, and Victimization. You can find it here: http://christiel.net/product/female-free-and-clear/
If we are honest, I don’t think there is a single female alive who hasn’t fallen “victim” to the “me, too” status, since it includes inappropriate remarks, unwanted advances, etc. The phrase might be more aptly flown as “We, All,” rather than “Me, Too.”
So what do we do about this all-pervasive, world-wide, cross-generational, cross-gender problem? Particularly since we know we can’t solve a problem at the level it was created? Or can we? It begs the question, just where was this created? Let’s take a look at that in a totally new way.
Whenever we attempt to solve a human “problem” at the human level, we can’t really get there. It’s like trying to quiet our monkey mind by thinking. It simply can’t be done! Rather, what helps is to come to the awareness that any problem we are experiencing in our humanity was created long before we ever experienced it. In this sense, we can only solve a problem at the level which it was truly created, which is at the level of consciousness!
Let’s look again at the victim/perpetrator paradigm. Experience is always created post agreement. I’ll explain this a little further. In consciousness, the level of creation is the level of agreement, which almost always precedes human embodiment and/or functions at a subconscious level. In a sense, all of our lives are lived postscript. We write our human roles, choose our scenarios, environments, and personality details. We step on to our set and play our parts perfectly, and then scream bloody murder when it hurts. This is because we agreed to them pre-incarnation, so now in our human commedia dell’arte masks, we “didn’t see it coming!” Which is both cute and miraculous because we wrote the whole play! It’s so confusing, though, to have these painful experiences while we are fully blinded by and invested in our reality of duality, right and wrong, and wrong-doer and innocent victim.
But here is the cool thing: waking up to what we are – conscious beings who are the sovereign authors of our divine mystery plays – moves us completely out of even needing to address the “problem” of sexism, harassment, and victimization of women (and men). Why? Because we are now aware that we created all of it through agreement, both individual and collective, and this awareness means we can now make a different choice. I address learning to choose beyond collective agreements in my video series Life Beyond Consensus Reality which you can find here: http://christiel.net/product/life-beyond-consensus-reality/
But caveat, emptor! This awareness also means we can’t claim ignorance any more. It means we become fully accountable, and accountability is power. Most of us are not ready for this power, the true power that we are, which is why we continue to play victim (or onlookers to victimhood, full of righteous indignation, which is another full subscription to the same paradigm). This is how we avoid stepping into the full divine power that we are. Cool, huh? That we choose disempowerment as a way to avoid our own power! Our choice, always.
In the end, there is nothing to address but our own awareness and agreement. Remember, I’m not talking about our human awareness and agreement. Our human does not ever give its agreement to anything that will hurt. I know this, from the inside out, because I’m like you! This is not “you are responsible for being raped because of what you wore.” No, this change of agreement is an awareness of consciousness that predates experience, and it’s totally an inside job. Then there is no one to educate, inform, or heal. There is just us and our amazing, sovereign divinity, and our choice through pure awareness.
All of my teachings and offerings are all based on this approach, the only approach I believe to have any effect. Why? Because it addresses the problem (meaning any and every aspect of our lives, experience, and interactions) at its source, which is always us, because We Are Source Incarnate. Find them all here: http://christinelaria.com/shop
Loving You Infinitely – Christine